Discretion Is The Better Part Of Valour

'The better part of valour is discretion; in the which better part I have saved my life.' William Shakespeare – Henry IV 1596.

Something bad happened yesterday but I have decided not to talk about it. I am being discrete. So onward with the post…

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I was just wondering. You know in an aimless sort of way, wonder, wonder, wonder… Why do health foods have such weird and cranky names? Do the researchers and developers sit in a room and talk about this or do they hire a product name expert to think of the strangest name possible? After much thought and consultation, they arrive at ‘Quark’. I mean honestly. Is that the best you can do?

Another culprit is ‘Tofu’.

‘What’s for tea tonight darling?’

‘Well I have rustled up some lovely tofu for you.’

‘Well whoopee dooo! I so miss tofu in my diet.’

‘Well thank you darling! Does it taste good?’

‘It’s lovely but could do with some quark on top.’

Having said this, I am old enough to remember when yoghurt first arrived in the shops. My mum regarded it suspiciously as a professional home economist. Now it has become a staple part of our diet. But it still has a silly name in my opinion. ‘Yoghurt?’

‘So This Is My Worst Time Of Day’

Three weeks ago I bragged on my blog about how I now have power over food. It no longer controls me utterly. It is a truly wonderful condition to be in, I have never ever had it before. But I still have the occasional day when I get a bit jittery. I had one of those days on Monday.

Worsttime

Any time of the day can be a worst time.

Coincidentally this was the day Felicity posted about the difficulty in getting through lunchtime at work without falling off plan and eating something really bad. She has mentioned this problem in the Facebook group before and I do wholeheartedly sympathise with her. But if I am truly honest. On a bad day every hour is my worst time of the day.

Let me explain my own personal predicament. I get up in the morning and the first thing I think about is ‘What’s for breakfast?’ It’s pretty much all I can think about. It’s my first ‘worst time of the day’. I now have a set of breakfasts that I can call upon at a moment’s notice. I try to keep all ingredients in stock so that I can select the one I want. This doesn’t always work out but most times it does.

Here are the 7 available breakfasts that I have on offer.

· Overnight oats – If you still don’t know what this is you should do. You must buy my book here to discover the recipe in full.

· Porridge with a tablespoon of golden Syrup

· Bacon and egg toasted sandwich

· Full fry up of sausage, bacon, egg, tomato, mushrooms and Peppers with a slice of dry toast.

· Punnet of prepared fruit with a yoghurt on top.

· Omelette with anything free I can think of put in.

· 2 Weetabix with milk and tiny sprinkle of sugar for 2 syns.

You would think that this bevvy of opportunity would satisfy any person’s appetite for breakfast but I am getting bored of the same old same old. I want something different. There are some amazing recipes online that you think would satiate my craving for something different, but I do not have the time or the impetus to bother. It has to be quick and easy otherwise I scrump and Naomi will complain about the dwindling service levels at home.

So we have done breakfast. Phew. I arrive at just after breakfast somewhat unscathed only to be haunted by the evil spectre of a mid-morning snack looming. This is my second ‘worst time of the day’. I am semi-retired, whatever that means, but I have a pile of things that have to be done before eleven o’clock… the appointed time for my mid-morning snack. If I am lucky I get so enthralled with my morning’s activities that I forget this moment completely and arrive at lunch in one piece. Most days I am not that lucky.

Lunchtime – my third ‘worst time of the day’

I agree with Felicity that lunchtime does present problems of its own. Should you have a meal or a snack, do you have any healthy extras remaining that you could safely squander on lunch? Lunch is like a nothing meal with so much opportunity for disobedience. Here are my standby lunches.

· Chick Pea Dahl loaf – Whoever came up with this idea is a genius, but I have developed it, and improved it into my own version – recipe here.

· A pile of fresh fruit and a yoghurt (I know it’s a bit like one of the breakfasts – no one is perfect. OK!)

· Philadelphia lightest cheese sandwich. This little gem has recently been invented by Naomi and I have to say that I fully approve. I just have to make sure I reserve my healthy extra A for it or syn it.

· Salad with cold meat.

· Hummous with carrots, celery and peppers plus some fruit.

· Toast and marmite.

· Jelly and fruit with a yoghurt.

I told you it was a nothing meal.

Afternoon Tea – my fourth ‘worst time of the day’

This is when I used to eat cake and biscuits in my previous life. Victoria sponge, fruit cake, scones with cream and butter, cheese sticks and bourbons. These avenues of pleasure are denied to me now and I make do with an apple and a coffee. Honestly I like apples a lot, I really, really do. But they are not baked, and afternoon tea snacks should be baked, don’t you think?

Dinner

This is my best time of the day because I can eat a proper meal with meat and two veg. Or something more exotic with rice, cous cous or quinoa. Dinner is when I can relax and just tuck in.

Mid evening about 8.37 p.m. – my fifth ‘worst time of the day’

I think everyone recognises this problem time of the day. It’s too early to go to bed, there is nothing good on tele and I get the munchies. Munch, munch, munch, or maybe drink, drink, drink. Fruit and vegetables do not cure the munchies, only willpower does that. Sometimes I have the willpower and other times I don’t. But I do have Naomi who constantly monitors my every move which sort of helps.

New Group Visit

We attended a different Slimming World group today having taken three weeks off for our house move. It felt great to be getting back into things normal. I’m not going to say too much about it but something happened at the start of group that had me and Naomi smiling broadly.

Discretion

We arrived a little early and because we are not in the social team we had nothing to do. Absolutely nothing! I wanted to stand by the door and greet people but we agreed that that would not be appreciated. Naomi was equally light on activity. So we found some seats and waited to see what would happen. There were about fifty people also sitting down waiting expectantly, all happily chatting to each other.

At 9.28 a.m. the consultant shouted ‘Open’ at the top of her voice. All the people sitting having conversations urgently stood up and suddenly formed a queue to the pay station. It was like what happens in one of those futuristic dystopian movies where people suddenly are moved to another location in a magical moment. Poof! And they were all moved to their new location. It was all over in a second and no one was injured. It was hilarious. After a few seconds of recovery, we sedately joined the back of the queue.

The title of this blog post? I told you I was being discrete. But I’m not very good at it.

Published by Ken Jones

This website is all about my Slimming World diet. I started the diet in February 2016. I kept a detailed diary of what happened in my first year. This has now been published as a book called 'The World Of Slimming'

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1 Comment

  1. I had a little smile at this, I can just imagine it 😂😂 Loved it Ken, brilliant as usual 😘😘

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