Well ‘crisis’ might be making too much of a fuss. I am not in crisis. But I am having to rethink my identity. So far in my adult life I have been the big guy who keeps going on a diet and then puts all the weight back on, plus a bit more. I put on a big show of being happy and cheerful but a lot of the time I am not content inside. I know many people who share this identity with me. It is not a happy place.
The words that are in everyday use are also not pretty. Fat, Overweight, Obese, Morbidly Obese, Podgy, Plump, Roly-Poly, Lardy, Corpulent, Elephantine, Rotund, Whale-Like and so on.
It is also not an identity I am proud of. I am considering what my new identity should be now I have lost some of my excess weight. I am not ready to be a thin person. Who wants to be skinny? Hands up! Who are you? No, I didn’t think so.
The other thing that is happening which I am not proud of at all is that I have started noticing other overweight people and judging them. I keep nodding towards people and saying to Naomi ‘They need to join Slimming World’. What am I like? I’m looking for a cure for this bad attitude but as my reaction is a spontaneous one that is going to take a bit of working on.
For myself, I need to feel and find who I am now. I just want to be a normal weight and live my life.
Brainstorming Time For New Identity Names
Normal person – No!
Slimming Worlder – No!
Trim – No!
Slender – No!
Sylph – No!
Svelte – No! (I got called this by Candice in the Facebook group last week – You are very kind but I’m not sure it suits me).
Willowy – No!
Lissom – No! Dangerous ground I think.
Lithe – No!
Gracile – No!
Thinner – Getting Closer.
OK – I’ve Got It!
It is so brilliant you will not believe it. But I will not tell you until the end of the blog. Please do not cheat and look to the bottom of the page…
OK, I know that some of you did look at the bottom of the page which is very bad and disobedient, but I forgive you.
At the end of the day my aim is to live a long and healthy life. I don’t want to carry all the weight I used to carry. I want to buy clothes that I choose off a rack because I like them and they suit me. Not because that’s all they’ve got in my size.
What am I saying? I’m saying I want to have a fun life full of energy and enjoyment. The freedom to do what I want because I chose to do it. I don’t want people to see me and judge me. I don’t want them to talk about me behind my back about my dieting and my problem with food.
This Is What I Want…
I do not want to be defined by my weight!
That is my new identity.
Anything that does not include my size in it. That will do for me.