Part One – Making the Decision
Tonight has been really difficult for me. Whilst I appreciate I had a loss, it was only half a pound and I am currently living with a saboteur. So, I have made the difficult decision to break up for a while. It wasn’t an easy decision to make. I got home tonight after weigh-in and broke the news that it was going to be our last night together for a while. I am going to cherish our last moments together and hope we can get back together in the future as I don’t want to completely break all ties.
So farewell wine, my weight loss is currently more important than you!!!
Part Two – Keeping My Resolve
It’s one-week post breakup, it hasn’t been as difficult as I imagined it would be, but it has still been painful, as we had been together for such a long time. I had a weak moment after group on Thursday and we had a brief reconciliation at The Black Boy, but I made it clear that I was going home alone. That was a big mistake as I wavered last night, and we spent the night together.
I woke with a sense of regret and questioned why I had a moment of madness when I had made the decision to break up. It threatens to sabotage my weight loss yet again, so why did I do it? I am not going to beat myself up about my moment of weakness but have locked the door and will not be sending an invite any time soon.
Being without you helped me lose 3 1/2lbs this week and get my 3 1/2 stone award, so why would I choose to be with you when you seriously hinder my weight loss journey? I think I just need to keep telling us both that I am currently better off not having a relationship with you. Besides, I don’t believe in cheating so have made a choice.
For the time being I have decided who I want to be with - wine, you are dumped yet again and I choose you, prosecco fizz (although please don’t judge me at the Xmas party next week as I did say that we might spend one night together).
Part Three – Should I Stay or Should I Go?
What have you done to me? I have just walked out of class feeling positive about the week ahead then went straight to the local supermarket to seek you out. I was so close to bringing you home with me, but I resisted and came home alone.
You really are testing me, aren’t you? I saw you with that group of women last weekend, flirting. I know you were trying to make me jealous, trying to tempt me to get back with you and take you home. You know that I have been weak where you are concerned. I saw them all fall under your spell, the more time they spent with you, the more giggly they became.
They were intoxicated in your presence. I did start to waver, remembering the good times we have spent together. You have been with me through good and bad times. When there has been a celebration, you are the one that I celebrated with. When I have had a bad day, I have turned to you for support, you have that knack of relaxing me and making me think that things aren’t as bad as they first seemed.
That has made me stay with you and want you more. This is why it was so difficult to break up with you. However, I must remain strong and not give into temptation, despite your best attempts to convince me that I had made the wrong decision and needed you, wanted you. I still do want you, but I have realised that I actually do not need you.
You have just become a habit. I have turned to you when experiencing various emotions, believing that you held all of the answers. My weight loss journey is going better without you. Whilst I have enjoyed travelling the scenic route with you, I am currently enjoying being in the faster lane without you (apart from my gain tonight but I am determined to pull it back this week and you weren’t responsible for it!)
So for now, I will stay on my own - thanks for the good times - my rock, my Rioja!!!
Thank you to the brilliant Tracey from Killay Slimming World group for writing this piece and allowing me to post it here.